your thong is hanging out like whoa
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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