Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
