White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
