3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
