All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
