She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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