Sry I called you an 8
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
