Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
