You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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