you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
