I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
