i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize