HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
