imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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