I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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