yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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