thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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