Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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