that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
