omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
