Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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