Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
