bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
