Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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