She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
