Do vagina's smell?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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