Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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