I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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