that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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