There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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