Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
