Kiss
Puke
I cockslap morals
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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