You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
