Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
