We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize