I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
