I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize