You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
