I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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