I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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