Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
