I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
