Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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