she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
