Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
