Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
