I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I bet he comes in French.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
