yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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