my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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