I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
