my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
