Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We got so high we made milksteak
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
