Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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