I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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