erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Boobs speak an international language.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
