she woke up with a sticky ear
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I touched a dick in church today
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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