strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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