I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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