Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I will pee on everything he values.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize