i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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