on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
