Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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