i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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