Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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