i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
