Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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