I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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